A Funny Little Story

It really is just a funny little story. I started it years and years ago to poke fun at romance novels and the lusty, perfect characters always featured in them. I'm blogging it because I just like Fred and Myrtle. I do. I hope you'll like them too. Please, make yourself a refreshment, sit back, relax a little, put your smile on and read. As with all blogs, the beginning is at the bottom. Please start at It Was a Dark and Stormy Day and work your way up from there.


Content Warning: THIS STORY CONTAINS EXPLICIT SEX AND IS NOT SUITABLE FOR READERS UNDER 16 OR PRUDES.


Sunday, December 26, 2010

Fred Survives the Day

When their iced teas arrived, Myrtle thoughtfully suggested that Fred hold his against his throbbing jaw while they waited for their pizzas. This helped a bit and Fred was soon feeling a little better. His embarrassment waned as Myrtle sympathized and after a while his jaw didn't hurt nearly as much. All and all, they enjoyed their lunch, though Fred thought it better to not chew on the freshly bruised side, worrying that he may have loosened a tooth or two. But the pizzas were good and the waiter had been so accommodating, they were certain this was destined to become a favourite haunt. This made them both happy, yet it also worried each of them for their own reasons... Fred due to the design of the chair legs, Myrtle because she saw the potential for putting on weight. Nevertheless, they left the restaurant in good spirits.

Fred was even happier when Myrtle suggested they skip the curtain shopping for certain and attend to that another time. So they just strolled along Benton until they came across a thrift shop. They looked happily at each other and went inside where Fred found some CDs he wanted and a belt, and Myrtle picked up some kitchen gadgets, salt and pepper shakers, a vinegar cruit and a few mugs she thought Fred might like. This kind of shopping Fred didn’t mind. He thought it was kind of fun to explore thrift shops looking for unexpected treasures. And Myrtle just loved the idea of picking up some bargains, rather than buying everything new. Their purchases bagged up and in hand, they continued their walk until the shops yielded to houses, with more apartment buildings visible up the street. So they crossed over and walked back to Fred’s new apartment on the other side.

When they were almost there, Myrtle looked up suddenly. "Oh Fred, we must remember to turn in the signed lease before we leave."

"Yeah, I thought of that," replied Fred. "It’s ok... I had a little look at it while you were cleaning the toilet and it seems pretty standard, so I signed it, but I left it on the bags we took in. We can just get it before we go and give it to the Super," he finished, wondering if he mightn’t have left out the detail about the toilet.

Myrtle wondered briefly if she oughtn’t take a look at the lease, then decided against even suggesting it. Too pushy, she thought to herself. She would just have to trust that Fred had signed leases before and knew what he was doing. So it wasn’t long before they'd handed in the lease and were headed back to her place.

Fred was just glad that it was all looked after and he had a new place to live. He was careful to not stay too late at Myrtle’s that night, in case his mother decided to lock the screen doors again. So after a small but yummy repast of toasted bacon and tomato sandwiches and tea, Fred excused himself saying he was tired and had to get up early in the morning. Myrtle understood completely and after a couple of dangerously amorous kisses at the back door that might have tempted him to change his mind under more favourable circumstances, Fred more or less tripped out the back door and headed down the path toward his car.

He made it home without incident that night and though he would have preferred to just avoid his mother, it was if she was laying in wait for him.

“I trust you’ll let me know when you won’t be sleeping here anymore,” she said sternly.

“Yes Mother,” he replied, slowly backing away. “I’m going into hospital on Friday, for that operation, if you recall,” he reminded her. “Myrtle will pick me up when I’m released and take me back to my new apartment.”

“So then who’s going to see to you?” demanded Flora.

“I guess Myrtle will look in on me,” he replied, defensively. He didn’t want to anger his mother, but he really didn’t want her ‘looking after him’ either.

Flora was actually relieved that she wouldn’t be responsible for his convalescence. Still, she was a bit hurt that Fred apparently liked it that way too. “So when do I get to meet this Florence Nightingale of yours?” she demanded. “This girl who apparently has nothing better to do than see to your precious needs?” she almost spat.

“I don’t know,” replied Fred, still backing away, feeling behind him for the entrance to his room. When his hand felt the door jam, he smiled at his mother, said “well, good night, Mom,” and ducked into his room, shutting the door behind him. He sighed deeply and decided to change into his nightshirt before using the bathroom.

He examined the new bruise on his jaw as he got ready for bed. It throbbed just a little when he laid on that side and sleep didn’t come easily. He was frightened of his mother, he was growing increasingly nervous about the pending operation, and he was scared to death of moving and relying on a new girl friend for his care. But even though he was restless for awhile, sleep was Fred’s refuge from reality, and he eventually drifted off into a fitful slumber.

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