A Funny Little Story

It really is just a funny little story. I started it years and years ago to poke fun at romance novels and the lusty, perfect characters always featured in them. I'm blogging it because I just like Fred and Myrtle. I do. I hope you'll like them too. Please, make yourself a refreshment, sit back, relax a little, put your smile on and read. As with all blogs, the beginning is at the bottom. Please start at It Was a Dark and Stormy Day and work your way up from there.


Content Warning: THIS STORY CONTAINS EXPLICIT SEX AND IS NOT SUITABLE FOR READERS UNDER 16 OR PRUDES.


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Things Are Looking Up

At least Fred was easy to distract, thought Myrtle, as she laid the packages of curtains side-by-side on the bed. They were wrapped in clear plastic, so the designs were quite visible. The problem was, it was quite impossible to imagine what they’d look like when they were unfolded and so much bigger over the windows. Myrtle didn’t want to choose herself, but she didn’t want to unfold them in the hospital either.

“I know it’s difficult to tell, Fred, but is there one that speaks to you more than the other?”

Fred obediently looked first at one, then the other, then back at the first one. He slumped back on his pillows. “Oh Myrtle, it really doesn’t matter, just as long as they aren’t too loud. You choose. I trust you completely,” he finished, flapping one hand toward the curtains.

Myrtle could see she was going to get nowhere, but at least she’d tried to involve him. It was like an investment for the future, if it ever occurred to Fred to complain about the curtains. She stacked the packages at the bottom of the bed.

“Poor Fred,” she comforted. “Operations are no fun,” she said, quite aware that this was merely obvious. It was difficult to think of things to say at a time like this and she was once again glad she had other things to do. She decided to stay a little while longer though, to encourage Fred to rest, though he had closed his eyes and didn’t really seem to need any. In fact, it wasn’t long after she sat down to keep Fred company, that she heard him snoring softly. She decided to slip away.

Myrtle stopped at a doughnut and sandwich shop and bought soup and a sandwich for her lunch. She took it back to Fred’s apartment and quite enjoyed it before hanging the curtains. It was a bit of a struggle, but she persevered and got the least patterned of the two hung up, after due consideration of both.

She repacked the others and put them by the door to go back. Then she made the bed and did a host of other little chores to make Fred’s new digs look and feel comfortable for him. She was torn ~ part of her wanted to hurry and get it done, another part of her wanted to take her time, so she wouldn’t feel obligated to spend so much time sitting in Fred’s hospital room. It was an awkward romance, to say the least, she thought. She’d be glad when Fred was on the mend and able to do things for himself again.

Meanwhile, Fred was awakened for lunch, and after he’d eaten the nurse bustled in and told him he’d have to go for another little walk, but this time, he was to ring if he was ready. At any rate, they’d be back. A red-faced Fred just nodded obediently as the nurse left the room smiling.

By the time Myrtle had done everything she was sure she must at Fred’s apartment and had arrived back at the hospital, Fred was just shuffling down the hall toward her, leaning on his IV stand as he walked. He looked up and saw Myrtle. “Oh Myrtle,” he said, a little pathetically, as he sort of reached his other hand toward her.

Myrtle went right to his side. “Are you ok, Fred?” she asked, concerned. It felt as if he was about to fall over.

“I think the nurses forgot about me,” he complained. “I’ve been walking and walking....” his voice trailed off.

“Well I think it would be all right for you to go back to your room, Fred,” declared Myrtle, a little aghast that Fred would just keep walking around in the hallway.

Fred looked at her, as if a light was dawning. “Oh yeah...” he said. “I never thought of that.”

As Myrtle guided Fred back to his bed, she wondered if the doctor had accidentally done a little brainechtomy on Fred as well. Then she wondered if it was the drugs. Maybe that little bit of pain-killer was keeping him all bumfuzzled, she reasoned. Once she had Fred all tucked in, she took off her jacket and settled into the chair beside him.

“Oh Myrtle,” he moaned. “I’m so tired. I went up and down... up and down...”

“There, there, Fred,” she comforted. “You can rest now.” But it was a kind of pointless statement since Fred’s eyes were already closed, he whimpered, and was quite obviously dozing off.

Great, thought Myrtle. She had wanted to return his credit card and chat about a few things, like where he wanted the phone in his apartment. But once again, there she was, sitting beside Fred as he snoozed. She sighed deeply. Myrtle wasn’t sure which was more trying ~ all the work she was doing for Fred, or sitting around listening to his incision heal. It was all quite the investment for what seemed like a promising relationship, she told herself. She couldn’t help thinking, rather sardonically, that it better pay off.

Myrtle would have rather been at home, but she sat for awhile longer with Fred, then went and got a magazine. After reading that for awhile, she went to the hospital cafeteria again for supper. Fred was awake and having his own supper when she got back.

“Oh Myrtle,” he said, smiling. “I was afraid you’d left!”

“Just taking some nourishment,” she smiled.

“Me too,” he nodded.

After supper, Fred was feeling much better and the two chatted much of the evening away. Myrtle returned Fred’s card, tried to describe the new curtains, asked him about his phone, and so much more. She went home at the end of visiting hours smiling and feeling much better.

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