A Funny Little Story

It really is just a funny little story. I started it years and years ago to poke fun at romance novels and the lusty, perfect characters always featured in them. I'm blogging it because I just like Fred and Myrtle. I do. I hope you'll like them too. Please, make yourself a refreshment, sit back, relax a little, put your smile on and read. As with all blogs, the beginning is at the bottom. Please start at It Was a Dark and Stormy Day and work your way up from there.


Content Warning: THIS STORY CONTAINS EXPLICIT SEX AND IS NOT SUITABLE FOR READERS UNDER 16 OR PRUDES.


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Home, Sweet Home

Fred actually had a terrible time getting to sleep, even though he was very tired. In the short time he’d been in the hospital, he’d grown accustomed to sleeping in the adjustable bed, in a slightly reclined position. He tried to get comfortable in his new bed, but it felt hard and flat. He piled all the pillows he could find under his head, but that made his neck hurt a little. It still wasn’t healed completely and he had to be careful how he joggled his head about.

After finally falling asleep, he woke himself up again not long after with his own loud snoring. His head had slipped off the pillows and he’d wound up flat on his back, sprawled across his new bed. Funny, he thought. He’d managed to bother someone with his snoring after all. Himself. He rolled over and groaned loudly. His stomach hurt. He wanted to get up and take some pain killers, and yet he was too tired to move. He wondered vaguely what was on TV at this time of night. Maybe an old National Geographic special, he thought. Maybe a Jacques Cousteau voyage, or a program about whales, he thought. He pictured this in his mind, wondering what it would be like to be aboard the Calypso. It wasn’t long before he drifted back to sleep.

The next morning, Myrtle was there bright and early, bringing coffee and donuts with her for a treat. Fred was still in bed when she got there, but he was wakeful and when he heard the door, he got up, put on his robe and peeped out to make sure it was Myrtle. She was the only other one with a key, but Fred had a landlady walk in on him once when he was having a bath. He’d scrambled out of the tub to see who was invading his apartment. It was hard to say who was more frightened ~ Fred seeing his landlady in his living room, or the landlady seeing Fred in a wet robe with little blobs of suds clinging to his legs. Anyway, he no longer took things like that for granted. He breathed a satisfied sigh when he glimpsed Myrtle setting something down on the dining table, then he turned and slipped into the bathroom, closing the door a bit loudly so she’d know where he was. He didn’t want to startle her the way he had the landlady.

He was very glad to see the coffee and donuts when he came out, and of course, glad to see a smiling Myrtle waiting at the table for him. They enjoyed a nice, relaxed, prolonged breakfast together, then Fred, a creature of habit and training, wondered if he shouldn’t walk around for awhile. Chuckling to herself, Myrtle suggested he go and have a nice, refreshing wash while she took something out of the freezer for their supper later. Obediently, Fred headed for the washroom.

And so Saturday passed in almost boring, yet strangely comfortable domesticity. Fred enjoyed Myrtle’s attention and Myrtle enjoyed looking after him. She reminded Fred that she had to go to work on Monday, so he’d be on his own all day. She’d come by to have supper with him, but he’d have to get his own breakfast and lunch. So she went over with him what foods were in the kitchen so he wouldn’t starve while she was away. After lunch she encouraged Fred to get dressed and go for a very short walk with her down the street outside his apartment building. They didn’t go far. Fred still tired easily, so even though he was eager to be able to walk to where there were shops and that nice little restaurant, there was no way he was going that far yet. They settled for walking to the corner and back again, then rode the elevator back up to Fred’s apartment. With all the challenges of being in his new digs, it was enough.

Myrtle had brought some cards and and a couple of board games with her and she gave Fred the choice of what to play. So until it was time for Myrtle to make their supper, they played cribbage. Then Fred grabbed a nap on the couch while Myrtle worked away in the kitchen. Fred complimented her so much on the supper of chicken pieces, potatoes and broccoli, and how much better it was than hospital food, that Myrtle wondered if he actually hadn’t liked it. But another look at his guileless face and his empty plate convinced her that he was just glad to be out of the hospital.

Sunday passed in much the same way. Myrtle went home for the night a couple of hours after supper on Saturday evening, and showed up again Sunday morning with treats for breakfast. Fred couldn’t help thinking that he could get used to this. He got a slightly better nights’ sleep in his new bed and was up to greet Myrtle on Sunday morning. All and all, it wasn’t a very exciting weekend, but they enjoyed each other’s company, passing the occasional shy but twinkling glance at one another as they learned more about the things they had in common and talked about everything from work, to food, to politics. Fred was very pleased to learn that Myrtle leaned a little to the left politically. His mother was a dyed-in-the-wool Conservative, so he had shied away from the political right his whole adult life. He would have been very disappointed if it turned out that Myrtle shared his mother’s political views. That could have even been a deal-breaker, he thought. By the time Sunday evening rolled around, they were actually both a little weary of the rather intense “sharing.” Myrtle headed for home after a rather ardent kiss from Fred, followed by a rather huge, proud grin from him. She almost couldn’t help laughing, but she only giggled happily, waved and headed out the door.

Once home, Myrtle tidied up and picked out her work clothes for the next day. She was happy with how things were going with Fred, but she also felt a little stressed about it all. What if they got together, she wondered. She liked her little house. Would Fred be willing to move again? Or would he expect her to move into town with him. Luckinbill, she thought. She wondered kind of vaguely if Fred would mind if she didn’t change her name if they got married. She gave her head a shake, then began to wonder if the new teaching assistants for Pelham’s class were going to work out. She felt vaguely panicky about that, certain that the Dean was still somehow holding her responsible for the whole affair. She wondered if it would be acceptable to let the two new young men carry the course through to its conclusion, or if the search for a new instructor would have to continue. She sighed deeply. There was so much going on in her life right now. She felt just a little overwhelmed.

Myrtle decided she needed to relax before trying to sleep, so she made herself a hot cocoa and poured in a liberal shot of brandy, then settled on the couch with a book. She would read until her eyelids grew heavy, then she’d try to get some sleep. A work morning comes early, she thought. And after work, she’d be making Fred another supper. This, she thought, could all get a little exhausting. Yet she smiled happily as she snuggled in and scanned the book for the place she’d left off.

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