Bill to the Rescue?

When Myrtle woke up from her nap she had a little headache, but she sort of blundered down to the kitchen following the smell of good food. Her aunts looked up when she entered the room.

“Are you all right, dear?” asked Mabel.

“I’m not really much of a drinker,” Myrtle replied, rubbing her head. “You two are wicked, taking me out to a bar of all places.”

“We love to take people there and get them to talk,” chuckled Millie. “I’ll bet you’re hungry.”

“I could eat,” said Myrtle a little sarcastically. Truth was, she was very hungry and looking for some supper, and her aunts didn’t disappoint. There was an old fashioned stew bubbling on the stove, and Millie was getting ready to mash up some potatoes. This was a family favourite. And so, when the food was all ready, the women sat down together and enjoyed the flavourful repast.

Myrtle had a hard time getting to sleep that night, what with the effects of the alcohol and the nap. She was thinking about Fred and what he’d said about saving himself for her. She was hurt and angry of course, but she lay there pondering what she really ought to do about it all. She wondered if she’d some day wind up regretting it if she just let Fred go.

On Sunday, Myrtle helped with the morning chores at the farm, happily feeding the chickens and helping check the plants in the greenhouses. After lunch, she thanked her aunts for everything, gave them both great big hugs, and headed for home.

Fred meanwhile, was spreading the last of the peanut butter on the second-last of the English muffins. He was a hapless mess, but he was hungry after another restless night. Ironically, it was his brother Bill who saved him from himself. When Fred heard the tapping at the door, he went to check who it was of course. He was surprised to see Bill through the peep hole. His first thought was that Bill had found out about what Cynthia had done and had come to kill him. But strangely, Bill didn’t look angry, at least, not through the peep hole. Fred opened the door.

“Fred! How ya doin’?” The smile on Bill’s quickly faded when he caught a full view of Fred, and a snootful as well. “Whoa.... Fred! What have you been doing?”

“Nothing,” replied Fred, shrugging.

“Man, I’ll say!” said Bill. “What a mess you are, man! And get a load of this place! Fred! What’s going on?”

“Really, not a thing,” replied Fred patiently, shrugging again.

“Fred, man, you can’t let yourself fall apart like this. What happened? Did your girlfriend dump you or something?”

Fred wanted to yell his response at Bill, that it was his damned wife who’d spoiled things for him, but of course, he held his tongue. He just shrugged again and nodded.

“Now Fred, you can’t let a woman ruin you like this. There are plenty of fish in the sea, buddy. But you need to get yourself cleaned up if you want to attract any of ‘em. I mean, man, you’re a mess here.”

“Myrtle was special,” mumbled Fred.

“Ah, they’re all special, buddy. Man, look at this place.” Bill just kept looking around and shaking his head. “You can’t let any woman ruin you like this, Fred.”

Fred just shrugged yet again.

“How are you feeling anyway, Bro?” asked Bill. “I mean, your operation stuff.”

“Ok, I guess,” replied Fred unenthusiastically.

“Well then, why don’t you go back to work? If you get back into a routine, maybe you’ll snap outta this,” he advised.

“Do you use protection with women?” Fred asked suddenly, kind of wishing he’d snuck up on that a little better.

Bill was a little taken aback, but then he just laughed. “Well yeah! I mean you have to take care of business, man.”

“What about Cynthia?” asked Fred, suddenly wondering if he was straying into dangerous territory.

“Look, Fred, I don’t know where you’re going with this, but we both took precautions and we both had tests after we got married, ok? I mean, we’re trying to have a kid, so when you’ve played a little, you do the precautions.”

Played a little, thought Fred. That was kind of funny. “I just wondered,” he mumbled, wanting to change the subject. “I mean, I guess I should have had condoms, or something,” he stammered, hoping this remark would satisfy his brother, who was looking at him askance.

“Well yeah, buddy. You’ve got to be prepared,” agreed Bill, a little sarcastically.

“Why did you come here,” asked Fred, more abruptly than he meant to, looking for that change of subject.

“Oh, I was going to ask a favour,” said Bill, glancing down at his ring finger, “but it’s ok. Never mind. I see you have your work cut out for you just finding yourself under the mess,” he chuckled a little derisively. “But really Fred, you’re rank. You need to get cleaned up and get your life back, y’know? Such as it was anyway,” he chuckled again.

“Yeah,” said Fred. “Well, thanks for the advice,” he said, sounding more sarcastic than he actually meant to.

After his brother left, Fred had to admit to himself that Bill was right. He needed to climb out of this funk and get cleaned up. He decided that going back to work was just the thing.